The boxes in life I have failed to fit
Mark Twain once said “The two most important days in your life are the day ou are born and the day you find out why.” If that truly is the case, we should probably design our lives to indeed pursuing the epiphany of what makes us unique, our purpose among other human beings, regardless of what religion you happen to follow. However, as soon as we are old enough, they put you in school, the first box you are supposed to fit.
You might be wondering now: Why a box?
The way I see it, our Education System is no different than a production line (and I am not here referring to particularly the Brazilian, the Angolan, the American, the French or the Kiwi education system which I happened to have passed through….because in these particular aspect they are very much alike). You are aggregated with other individuals, that the best thing they have in common with you is age,and you go through step 1, step 2,step 3….the years pass by and you get moved forward into the production line, which will eventually bifurcate, ledding nonetheless to a different line, yet a production line. Throughout it, you get approval stamps (grades, degrees, recommendation letters)….I`ve never truly fit into my box in school, but somehow I kept moving forward, trying to look within the bifurcations which one seemed to fit me best….it never really did.
But then you go to college, a world os possibilities, you are free to choose….or are you? You need to pick a major, which will eventually put ou back in a production line, where someone prior to your existence in this planet has determined that was the path to be taken if you wanted to get that degree….and you go through it….I will say, that box wasn`t as uncomfortable to fit in as before, I will even argue I had joy, but I wasn`t happy, there were different things I wanted to do, there were things I didn`t….but if you don`t, then no approval stamp for you.
You finish school, you finally go to work and you have this opportunity to put into practice all the skills you`ve received in our production line…that`s when you are literally put into a box, a cubicle to be more precise. You need to follow a time schedule (has anyone ever asked you which time of the day you function better? if they did, it was out of curiosity, because you never really get to determine what time you do things. The production line determines what time you study, what time you work), you have a dress code, you get feedback, and your opinion doesn`t really matter, unless you stay in the production line time enough to be promoted. Been there, done that….and then I took the decision I thought would finally allow me to get out of the production line and find a box that would fit me….I went to Grad School.
You can`t blame a girl for trying. There was I, choosing very specifically what was it that I wanted to study, what I wanted to write about….and it is a very narrow, very select and especialized……..production line. You have the core courses, you have qualifying exams, people determine your schedule, your office, the classes you`ll teach, and God forbid you try to rearrange the path to something you believe it could suit you better….it was a box I thought I could fit, and I am finding it is no much different than all the other boxes I`ve tried to fit in my life and never really did.
I keep wondering how long it took Mark Twain to find out why he came into this world, and if he ever fit into his box….meanwhile, I will keep trying to find mine.